The Chief, the Hype, the Kook and his Cover

If you’re in the 45-65 age bracket or you’re a movie buff you may recall the movie I’ve quipped in today’s blog title. As I perused the major news outlet headlines Monday I thought of the The Thief, the Wife…because every headline was about 45 or Shorty Spicer or Band Camp Conway. One might think there was no other news.

But much to 45’s chagrin the plethora of Washington peep headlines was not due to his popularity, rather it’s quite the opposite. Take the CNN headline, “Trump’s disapproval rating is now 57%.” Shocking really. I thought it would be higher. His travel ban has become the ‘ban of his existence’ because it’s apparently unpopular to separate law-abiding families and corporations’ employees from their jobs based on their ethnicity or religion. Did he really think everyone would just swallow his crap? Apparently the answer is yes, and most frightening is that he believes his own alternative facts. He posted two tweets that confirms this. In the first one he implied that anyone who disagrees with him is wrong, and in the second one he accused the media of spreading fake news when they reported on his 57% disapproval rating. He also asserted that the media does not report on all the terror attacks that occur around the world, implying that there’s way more attacks than reported and the ban is needed to prevent new ones. Whaaaat?? If you’ve ever been home sick and a foreign or domestic attack occurs you know that the media always breaks into regular programming and covers it for hours or days.

Oh, I almost forgot the third tweet. The federal judge that overturned 45’s travel ban is not  a true judge. Really, he apparently just plays one on tv because according to 45 the judge is only a “so-called judge.” I wonder if he wears a so-called robe. When Bill O’Reilly asked him on Sunday if he respects the Russian thug Putin, he said he does because the man is a leader of a country. So was Idi Amin, but he too killed his own Ugandan like he did his daily chores. O’Reilly responded with “But he’s a killer” and 45 sharply retorted “You think our country’s so innocent?” So he defends Putin by accusing the US of being a similar killer. Nice. That’s so patriotic and I’m sure it will play a part in making America great again. At least Nancy Pelosi finally woke up and stated she wants to know what Trump is hiding and to whom he owes money. I imagine that list is long and includes some names that have way more consonants than vowels.

I could be wrong on this one but it seems like Shorty Spicer has always aspired to be a Hype girl. After all it was Melissa McCarthy who just portrayed him on SNL. I’m guessing he either mainlines caffeine or has untreated ADHD. But his talents are wasted in Washington. This man really is the quintessential hype girl. He just rattles off 45’s written comments and sells them like Ron Popeil sold rotisserie ovens on TV. Just set it and forget it! But wait, there’s more! It’s not a stretch people.

Perhaps the Kook needs no explanation. You’ve seen her marching band routine, but did you know Ms Conway has twice made reference to the Bowling Green massacre? The first time was prior to her recent Chris Matthews interview when Cosmo interviewed her by phone last month. They didn’t publish that part of the interview, probably because they couldn’t find any historic any references to it, but they have the transcript. So her recent gaffe was not her misspeaking as she stated, but rather an intentional assertion. She gives blondes a bad name. Then again I’m not so sure how blonde she truly is. And even if we can’t make her smarter can someone please give her a hair style?!? Maybe that band hat works after all.

Lastly, Mike Pence has the worst job in the world, well, aside from Melania. Quick Sidebar: when I think about her and 45 making a baby I have to believe that he was created in a Petri dish. How could she do that with that? My apologies if you just had a visual. Anyway, back to Deacon Pence. Is he a deacon, I know not. But I know you can picture him greeting people at church, making sure the lights and organ work, and covering for the pastor when he’s sick. Who else would want to cover 45 and all of his gaffes, lies and incendiary assertions? Deacon Pence at your service!

Yes I’m having some fun with this movie. But if this Washington insanity wasn’t so horribly real it would be great fun. When you put the humor aside it’s truly frightening that a crazy, narcissistic, unqualified real estate salesman is creating such enormous national and international animus. I wish this was a movie. Then I could fall asleep and when I wake up it will be over and I won’t recall most of it.